A Pilgrim’s Guide to Light and Shade

A Poem Inspired by the Rules of Discernment by St. Ignatius of Loyola

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I. The Quiet Soul in Peaceful Days

When life flows smooth, like a gentle stream,

And all is bright in the noonday gleam,

The heart must watch, for shadows creep,

Lulling souls into careless sleep.

II. The Storm That Comes to Shake the Heart

But when the storm clouds fill the sky,

And whispers dark make spirits sigh,

Stand firm, O soul, for trials test,

And faith is strongest when oppressed.

III. The Tempter's Hand on Fragile Minds

The cunning foe with silken speech,

Will stroke the soul it longs to reach.

To those in vice, no war is fought—

It keeps them blind in webs of naught.

IV. The Whispered Lies to Those Who Strive

Yet when the heart turns toward the light,

The enemy roars in jealous spite.

It stirs up doubt and fans the flame,

To steal the prize, to twist the name.

V. The Strength Found in Grace Alone

Despair not, soul, though darkness weighs,

For grace is stronger than fearsome days.

The sword of faith, the shield of trust,

Will break the lies, dissolve the dust.

VI. The Test of Time in Joy and Trial

Rejoice when light in fullness glows,

Yet mark the steps where wisdom grows.

For seasons change and fade away,

Prepare the heart for darker days.

VII. The Waiting Heart in Midnight's Hour

When comfort wanes and joy takes flight,

Still hold the course, endure the night.

Patience is the silent key,

To open doors we cannot see.

VIII. The Cause of Fading Light

O soul, seek why the dawn departs,

Does sin take root within thy heart?

Or is it trial, a test to stand,

A desert place by God's own hand?

IX. The Soul's Strength to Battle On

When shaken by the fiercest foe,

Resist, endure, let courage grow.

Hold fast to truths once brightly seen,

For trials end where faith has been.

X. The Memory of Light When Darkness Reigns

Let not the night erase the day,

Nor make the heart forget the way.

What once was given, once was clear,

Is not undone by fleeting fear.

XI. The Gentle Soul Must Hold Its Ground

Like waves that break upon the sand,

Temptations press with shifting hand.

A soul at peace, so soft, so still,

Must stand unmoved by warring will.

XII. The Enemy's Face When Met With Strength

A coward's heart does evil bear,

It shrinks before a soul aware.

Resist the fiend, let courage shine,

And watch him flee, his schemes unwind.

XIII. The Shadows Flee from Truth Revealed

O tell the light when doubt is near,

Expose the whisper's secret fear.

For lies unmasked can do no harm,

They melt within the daylight's charm.

XIV. The Proud One's Fall, the Humble's Rise

The cunning foe, so bold, so proud,

Strikes first the strong, not those who bow.

But God defends the humble heart,

And lifts the weak to take their part.

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Thus walk, O soul, this pilgrim way,

With steadfast heart through night and day.

The voice of God is clear and true,

To lead, to guide, to carry you.

Whispers That Silence My Demons

I love you, not for the way you dance with my angels,

not for the light you bring when the sun is high,

but for the way your voice, in sultry echoes,

makes my shadows sigh, makes my demons lie—

still beneath the hush of your whispered lullaby.

Your breath is a spell, a wicked, soft promise,

woven in midnight, in silk and sin,

pulling me under, drowning me deeper,

wrapped in the heat of your touch on my skin.

Fingers trace lines where secrets are written,

lips press verses that tremble and tease,

moans drip honey, slow and forbidden,

melting between every space in between.

I lose myself in the dark of your wanting,

your name is a prayer I cry in the night,

hips in rhythm, bodies colliding,

love like a fire that burns without light.

But it’s not just the way you make me surrender,

not just the way our bodies entwine,

it’s the way your voice, in hushed incantations,

commands the madness that lingers in mine.

You don’t just kiss me—you calm the storm,

you don’t just touch me—you tear me apart,

you don’t just love me—you own the war,

that rages deep within my heart.

So take me again, with words and whispers,

with hands that promise, with lips that plead,

not just for pleasure, but for salvation,

for only you give me what I need.

My Melancholy, My Marystella

Must it be that the merciless machinations of mileage and months conspire to mire me in melancholy? Must the maddening monotony of mornings, the muted murmur of midnights, and the mercurial march of moments make me more miserable with every measure of missing you? Must the miles, like malevolent marionettes, manipulate my mind, making my memories a mirage, my musings mere echoes of moments now miles removed?

My Marystella, my muse, my midnight moonbeam—must I move through this maelstrom of melancholy, this maze of muted murmurs, without the melody of your mirth, without the mirroring of your most magnificent gaze? The map mocks me, marking the miles between us, making a mockery of my most maddening wish—to move once more into your midst, to melt into your embrace, to make meaning of my meandering days.

Might it be that memory is my only mercy? That in the marrow of my mind, the murmurs of your voice, the movement of your touch, the momentous magic of your presence remain immutable? Might it be that though the months move on, my heart remains magnetized, my soul moored to yours, my longing more monstrous with every minute missing you?

Mark me, my Marystella—I do not merely miss you, I mourn you in your absence. I measure my moments by the march toward meeting you again, marking the milestones of my misery until the miles melt away. My love is not moved by distance, not muted by separation, not made lesser by time. It is a monolith, immutable and magnificent, a monument to you—my muse, my morning star, my most cherished melody.

And so, until the miles mean nothing and the moments bring you back, I move through the mist of missing you, murmuring your name like a mantra, a message to the universe:

You. Always you. My Marystella.

A Chorus of Cadence

Curious, is it not, how the cadence of the cosmos conspired to carve a course whereupon our crossroads collided? Conceived in the clandestine corridors of chance, our confluence, like constellations colliding in celestial choreography, composed a crescendo so captivating, so crystalline, that the cosmos itself ceased its cacophony to commemorate our connection.

Can it be coincidence, this chemistry so commanding, this compulsion so consuming, this commitment so complete? Certainly not, for the chords of our companionship chime in concert with the chorus of creation, crafting a cadence of constancy, compassion, and ceaseless captivation.

Come closer, my captivating Marystella, my cherished confidante, my celestial compass in this convoluted chronicle called life. Can you conceive the cavernous chambers of my chest, where your name is carved with conviction, where the candle of my devotion burns with an inextinguishable conflagration? Could you comprehend the currents of my core, cascading ceaselessly in ceaseless circulation, carrying but one creed, one clarion call—I love you—cloaked in countless colors of constancy and care?

Cognizant am I that words, however carefully conjured, can scarcely capture the colossal contour of my commitment. Yet, if language be the canvas upon which my confession is cast, then let this composition be chiseled in the chronicles of eternity, a covenant of my constancy to you.

Cradled within the cosmos’ capricious clasp, we have carved our chronicle—an epic of connection, a constellation of companionship, a covenant of consummate care. Come what chaos may, come what calamity conspires, my course is charted, my compass unclouded: it ever and always directs me to you.

My cherished, my celestial, my constant—Marystella, I love you.

-CC

Body and Soul

When you're with me, let the world retire,

Let clocks halt their ticking, quenched of desire.

Step into the moment where only we reside,

In the quietude of us, let our hearts confide.

Shed the weight of worries, leave them at the door,

Let your spirit venture where it hasn't been before.

Let your laughter be unbridled, your tears unrestrained,

In the sanctuary of trust that we have ordained.

Let our fingers interlace like verses in a rhyme,

Weaving through the tapestry of ever-ending time.

Let your gaze meet mine in unspoken dialogue,

Eyes narrating stories that lips could never log.

When you're with me, be present, be whole,

Not a fragment of your being, but the essence of your soul.

Let every whispered word and every silent sigh

Be threads that bind us closer, as days and nights go by.

Let's wander past the surface, to depths profound and true,

Exploring hidden landscapes that only we can view.

In the fusion of our energies, let's find ourselves anew,

When you're with me, be with me—as only lovers do.

So come to me completely, with all your heart unveiled,

In the honesty of moments where nothing is concealed.

For in this shared existence, we lose and find control,

When you're with me, be with me—utterly and completely, body and soul.

ETHERAL LOVE

To ask if I miss her  

Would be like asking the stars if they miss the night,  

Or the Sun if it missed its warmth.  

It's like asking the ocean if it yearns for the rivers that give it life.  

I’ve seen the most beautiful flowers, but they all share the same fragrance.  

I’ve visited the world’s most stunning places,  

But the wind blows the same wherever I go.  

Only in your presence does the wind carry a fragrance unknown,  

A scent whispered only to the flowers when you are near,  

A beauty untold in any other place.  

In every fleeting sunset, where the sky is ablaze with color,  

I search for the warmth that only your gaze can give.  

In the rustling of leaves, the quiet murmur of the earth,  

I listen for the echoes of your laughter,  

That once filled the void in my heart with light.  

I would recognize you in the deepest darkness,  

Where you are mute and I am deaf,  

I would find you in another lifetime,  

In different bodies, in different times.  

And I would love you through it all,  

Until the very last star in the sky fades into oblivion.  

They asked, "Do you love her to death?"  

I said, "Speak her name over my grave,  

And watch how she brings me back to life."  

For in every life, every breath I take,  

Your essence lingers, entwined with mine.  

In dreams, I walk with you along paths untraveled,  

Through gardens that bloom only in the night,  

Where the moonlight casts our shadows,  

Dancing together, as if the universe itself conspired to reunite us.  

Even the stars envy us, they who have witnessed eons,  

Yet never have known a love like ours,  

A love that transcends the boundaries of time and space,  

That weaves through the fabric of existence, unbroken and eternal.  

When the final day dawns, and the world crumbles to dust,  

I will find you, even if all that remains are echoes,  

Echoes of your voice, your touch, your presence,  

Resonating through the corridors of time,  

For our love, our bond, is the heartbeat of the cosmos,  

A rhythm that never fades, never ceases.  

So, do I miss her?  

She is not just missed; she is a part of me,  

An indelible mark on my soul,  

Her absence is felt in every heartbeat,  

In every breath, in every thought.  

Yet she is also here, always here,  

In every star that lights the night,  

In every breeze that caresses my face.  

And I would love her, again and again,  

Through every dawn and every dusk,  

Until the very last star in the sky burns out,  

And the universe itself folds into nothingness.  

For even then, in the void,  

In the silence of the end,  

I will find her,  

And we will begin again! 

AQUALIBRA

In the realm where stars align,

Two hearts met, divine by design.

An Aquarius, cool and wise,

With depths as vast as the midnight skies.

A Libra, grace in her sway,

Balancing night and the light of day.

Her eyes, a mirror to the moon,

Her smile, a sunlit afternoon.

Beneath the constellations bright,

They found their love in the still of night.

A futuristic landscape, neon gleam,

Yet their love, an ageless dream.

He held a pitcher, water’s flow,

A symbol of life’s eternal glow.

She with scales, golden, gleaming,

Balance in the world of dreaming.

Hand in hand, they walked the stars,

No distance too great, no love too far.

In their eyes, the past’s sweet kiss,

In their hearts, a timeless bliss.

Their love, a tale of cosmic art,

Written in the constellations’ chart.

With every touch, a story told,

Of love that never grows old.

Oh, how the future sings their tune,

In the glow of a holographic moon.

Aquarius and Libra, forever true,

A love as vast as the sky's blue hue.

Let Me Think!!!

Nothing Else Matters

I didn't love you because I was lonely, far from it

I was at peace in my own world, wrapped in the comfort of solitude

But then you appeared, a bright shooting star across the night sky

Your presence was more than just a spark, it was a blaze that lit up my entire existence

You made me open my eyes again to see the world in vivid color 

To feel life pulsing around me

With you every day is a revelation, a journey into a world I never knew existed

Losing you would be unimaginable, like being plunged back into darkness

It would leave a void so profound I doubt I could ever find my way back

Before you my life felt like a distant memory, a chapter from another book

Nothing else matters as long as I'm with you

You are my soulmate, my partner, my best friend

You fill my heart with joy and love

You inspire me to be a better person

You challenge me to grow and learn

You support me through thick and thin

You are my everything, my reason for living

Nameless

I remember when your name was just another name that rolled without thought off my tongue. Now, I can't look at your name without an abundance of sentiment attached to each letter.

Your name, which I played with so carelessly, so

easily, has somehow become sacred to my lips, a

name I won't throw around light heartedly or repeat without deep thought.

And if ever I speak of you, I use the English

language to describe who you were to me.

You are nameless, because those letters grouped

together in that familiar form carries too much

meaning for my capricious heart.

I remember when your voice was just another sound that filled my ears with no special significance. Now, I can't hear your voice without a surge of emotion that stirs my soul. 

Your voice, which I listened to so casually, so indifferently, has somehow become music to my ears, a voice I won't ignore or forget even when you're not around.

And if ever I hear you, I use the English language to understand what you say to me.

You are voiceless, because those words spoken

in that familiar tone holds too much power over my restless mind.

I remember when your face was just another face that blended in the crowd with no particular charm. Now, I can't see your face without a flash of memory that warms my heart.

Your face, which I glanced at so briefly, so

unconsciously, has somehow become a vision to my eyes, a face I won't overlook or erase even when you're far away.

And if ever I see you, I use the English language to recognize who you are to me.

You are faceless, because those features arranged in that familiar shape bears too much

beauty for my longing eyes.

Facing Fear

A river quivers with fear as it approaches the sea. It glances back at the path it has followed, from the high mountain peaks, the meandering road across forests and villages, and ahead of it it sees a huge and boundless ocean that appears to devour everything in its path. But there is no other way. The river has no choice but to go forward, as does everyone else. To go back is to negate one's being. The river has to brave the challenge of entering the ocean, because that is the only way to conquer its fear. For that is where the river will discover it is not vanishing into the ocean, but becoming part of it.

I Miss Her

To ask me if I miss her would be like asking the stars

If they miss the night, asking the sun if it missed its warmth

Or asking the ocean if it missed the rivers that give it life

I've seen the most beautiful flowers, but they all smell the same

I got to see the most beautiful places in the world, but the wind winded same everywhere

Only in your presence the wind whispered a fragrance to the flower

A scent untold in other places

I would recognize you in total darkness, were you mute and I deaf

I would recognize you in another lifetime entirely in different bodies, different times

And I would love you in all of this, until the very last star in the sky burnt out into oblivion

They asked "Do you love her to death?" I answered

"Speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life"

But they don't understand that she is more than life to me

She is the reason why I breathe, the reason why I dream

She is the melody in my heart, the harmony in my soul

She is the light in my eyes, the warmth in my touch

She is the poetry in my words, the beauty in my art

She is everything I ever wanted, everything I ever needed

She is my love, my life, my eternity

My Eternal Love

I've seen a million faces, but not one more beautiful than Rome

I've seen twice as many eyes, but only yours felt like home

Yours isn't the only hand I've held, but the only one that felt it fit

I've met so many people, but only you made me love like this

I would have waited 500 more years for you, 1000 years

And if this was all the time we were allowed to have, the wait was worth it

But I'm grateful for every moment, every kiss, every smile

You're the reason for my happiness, the meaning of my life

You're the song in my heart, the melody in my soul

You're the light in my eyes, the warmth in my hold

You're the fire in my veins, the passion in my breath

You're the peace in my mind, the comfort in my chest

You're the one I want to wake up with, the one I want to dream about

You're the one I want to grow old with, the one I can't live without

You're the one who makes me whole, the one who fills my gaps

You're the one who loves me most, the one who has my back

You're my lover, my partner, my friend, my confidant

You're my soulmate, my twin flame, my everything, my all

You're the best thing that ever happened to me, the greatest gift of fate

You're my eternal love, my destiny, my mate

Vow

I don't always show it, and I don't say it nearly as much as I should

But I have never known a love like this, a love so pure and good

The way you love me is the only way I want to be loved from now until the day after forever

You're the only one who makes me feel alive, who makes me feel like I matter

You will always be the one my heart searches for in a room, in a world full of everyone else

You're the only one who knows me inside out, who understands me like no one else

You're the only one who makes me laugh, who makes me cry, who makes me feel

You're the only one who sees the real me, who accepts me, who loves me still

I am not so sure that I can do this somedays, but it is you that reminds me that I am strong

When I cannot remember for myself, you're the one who lifts me up, who helps me along

You're the one who supports me, who encourages me, who believes in me

You're the one who inspires me, who challenges me, who brings out the best in me

It is you that I want in all of my tomorrows, you're the one I want to share my life with

You're the one I want to wake up next to, you're the one I want to fall asleep with

You're the one I want to travel with, you're the one I want to grow old with

You're the one I want to celebrate with, you're the one I want to console with

I'll stay. That's what I promise you, I'll stay when it gets hard, I'll stay when everyone else around you leaves

I'll stay today and every day after, I'll stay through the good and the bad, I'll stay through the joys and the griefs

I'll stay loyal, I'll stay faithful, I'll stay honest, I'll stay true

I'll stay with you, I'll stay for you, I'll stay because of you

Your love is the most consistent, predictable, unwavering, non-chaotic, trustworthy love I have ever known

Your love is the most comforting, soothing, healing, fulfilling, satisfying love I have ever shown

Your love is the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing, incredible, miraculous love I have ever seen

Your love is the most precious, priceless, valuable, incomparable, irreplaceable love I have ever been

Harmony of Gratitude

In the tapestry of trials, gratitude weaves,

A dance with destiny, as hope perceives.

Oh, divine orchestrator, I thank thee high,

For guiding my steps, as I reached the sky.

Through interviews' fire, I emerged unscathed,

Your grace, a beacon, when shadows behaved.

Employed, I stand on the pinnacle of dreams,

Blessed by the stars, or so it seems.

Yet, not alone, in this triumphant hour,

A love, steadfast, like an enduring flower.

To my dearest, a pillar in the storm,

Your support, a shelter, both soft and warm.

In the realms of the mind, where battles are fought,

You stood by me, a fortress in thought.

Physically present, your touch a balm,

Healing the wounds, bringing a calm.

And in the realm where hearts entwine,

Our connection deepened, an intertwining line.

For every intimate moment shared,

I thank you, my love, for how much you cared.

Now, as the sun of success begins to shine,

Promise I make, to be forever thine.

Through wealth and want, in joy and strife,

I pledge to share and build a life.

With you, my love, by my side,

In the tapestry of life, as companions ride.

Through valleys low and peaks so high,

Together, we'll soar beneath the sky.

We Die With the Dying

We die with the dying:

See, they depart, and we go with them.

We are born with the dead:

See, they return, and bring us with them.

The moment of the rose and the moment of the yew-tree

Are of equal duration.

A people without history

Is not redeemed from time, for history is a pattern

Of timeless moments.

So, while the light fails

On a winter’s afternoon, in a secluded chapel

History is now and England.

ORATI

I sit in the waiting room, feeling nervous and alone

I try to calm my racing heart, but it's hard to control

I rehearse the answers in my mind, hoping to impress

But I know they have many candidates, and I'm just one of the rest

I wonder if they'll like me, if they'll see my potential

Or if they'll judge me harshly, and find me inconsequential

I wish I had more confidence, more skills, more experience

But I can only offer what I have, and hope they see some excellence

I hear my name being called, and I stand up with a smile

I walk towards the interview room, trying to look calm and agile

I greet the panel with a handshake, and sit down in the chair

I brace myself for the questions, and hope they'll be fair

I try to answer honestly, and show them who I am

But I feel like I'm not good enough, and I'm failing the exam

I see them nodding politely, but I can't read their expressions

I wonder if they're interested, or if they have any questions

I thank them for their time, and walk out of the door

I feel a mix of relief and dread, and I don't know what to hope for

I wait for the results, and pray for a positive outcome

But I know the chances are slim, and I might have to succumb

Live, Laugh, Love

Live in the present, where moments unfold,

Laugh with the joy that's pure and untold.

Love with a heart that knows no bound,

In this harmonious mantra, serenity is found.

Live, a dance with time, a journey's embrace,

Laugh, the melody that adds to life's grace.

Love, the rhythm that beats in every heart,

Together they weave a mantra, a timeless art.

Live through challenges, resilient and strong,

Laugh in echoes, a melody that belongs.

Love like a river, endlessly flowing,

In this sacred harmony, life is worth knowing.

So let this mantra guide each day's refrain,

Live, laugh, love, in a perpetual gain.

Harmonize the moments, let them intertwine,

In this symphony of life, let your spirit shine.

Why does it all go wrong?

In the silent depths of endless plight,

Each effort made, fades into night.

A weary soul, with dreams forlorn,

Wonders why it's the wrong path it's drawn.

Every endeavor, an echo of defeat,

As if success and it never meet.

A symphony of failure, a desolate song,

Leaving a spirit broken, longing for strong.

A dance with shadows, a hopeless trance,

In the realm of missteps, where dreams enhance.

Questions linger, heavy and strong,

Why does everything I try go so wrong?

A tapestry woven with threads of despair,

Each strand a reminder of the burdens to bear.

Through the fog of anguish, it's hard to see,

A glimmer of hope, a chance to be free.

In this defeated melody, a heartache's song,

Seek solace within the shadows, no matter how long.

For within the echoes of what's gone awry,

May emerge the strength to once again try.

Nightmare

In the silent hours, when shadows creep,

Night terrors wake, disrupting sleep.

Paralyzed, in the grasp of the night,

A captive soul in the pale moonlight.

Whispers of darkness, a haunting rhyme,

Echo through the corridors of time.

Dreams entwined with a spectral ballet,

A dance of dread in the night's display.

Sleep's tender embrace turns cold and tight,

As the mind descends into the fright.

Phantoms dance, a macabre trance,

In the realm where nightmares advance.

Sheets tangled in the grip of despair,

A silent scream fills the midnight air.

Eyes wide open, yet unable to flee,

Trapped in a realm of misery.

Moonlight weeps with a ghostly tune,

As the mind is caught in the night's monsoon.

A symphony of sorrow, a lullaby,

In the darkness where fears multiply.